Your Friends No Longer Give A Toss About You

The expat community has been left reeling by the realisation that their friends back home couldn’t give a flying fuck about their experiences in Japan.

Most gaijin arrive in the country full of awe of their surroundings and go straight to social media to share their new findings with their friends back in their home country. Initial responses tend to be positive, but these quickly diminish over time as friends become inured to ‘hilarious’ postings of bad instances of ‘Engrish’, instead seemingly more concerned with paying their mortgages and looking at pictures of botched celebrity plastic surgeries on Buzzfeed.

“When I arrived in Japan in August I was constantly putting pictures of the crazy stuff I saw, and I was getting dozens of comments in response,” said Emma Ganderton from England. “But the other day I posted a picture of a salariman asleep on a train, and I got one ‘like’ and that was from my mother, which she followed up with a comment reminding me to pay my student loan.”

American Paolo Teixeira has also been affected by the trend. “I posted a picture of me eating whale sashimi last month, and I got 15 likes out of more than 1,000 Facebook friends,” he lamented. “Then I sent a picture of me with the cute Hikonyan character to my best friend and a week later I received reply asking ‘who’s this?’ I told him ‘it’s Paolo’ and included a laughing emoji. He still hasn’t replied. The message is marked as read, but still nothing. Maybe he’s busy with work or something.”

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