What Kind of Pirate or Wench Are Ye?

This test will scientifically determine what kind of pirate or wench you are. So answer as truthfully as any pirate would and keep your score. Arrrr!

The Sexy Pirate Fun A

Do others often call you things
like “odd” or “eccentric”
or “a raving psychotic”?

Foolish talk. I’m just a regular ole sea dog!    (1)
Only the raving psychotics, and kindly too.    (2)
On occasion by bilge drinking landlubbers      (3)
Aye, but just by the folk who know me.    (4)
I have padding on me cabin walls.    (5)

Do others fear your
mad business skills?

Yes, but only the folk I’m trying to help.     (1)
I don’t have much of a head for figures.     (2)
I’ve buried my share of treasure.        (3)
Me poor business associates keep dying!    (4)
Darlin’, I’ll dig gold out of teeth if need be.     (5)

Are you tough?

Tough like warm butter.         (1)
I can sleep on any surface.         (2)
I can stand as long as there’s grog.     (3)
Tough like a salty leather steak.         (4)
I eat whatever is on the end of the line!     (5)

Bathe much?

What is this “bathing” you speak of?    (1)
I splash me privates when I must.     (2)
Blaggard! Is it time to do that again?    (3)
I don’t just play with me urchins!        (4)
Let’s just say my feet are in tissue boxes
and I’ve got really long fingernails.    (5)

How do you feel about a little
bit of the old ultraviolence?

I pity the poor grass if I tread upon it.     (1)
I was in a fight once. It was an accident.    (2)
I draw the line at bribery, theft and lying.    (3)
I’m a fighter, not a lover.         (4)
I routinely assault the elderly and indigent.    (5)

Be honest now. Do you think you’re better than others?

There are dogs that are better than me.    (1)
I only shoot to maim. I’ve got standards!    (2)
I’m the same as me hearties.         (3)
I’m salt, old salt!             (4)
Blimey you sink me! Why, I fart gold dust.     (5)

Do others consider you charming?

They call me “The Bilge Sucker”         (1)
I think me mom loved me.        (2)
Use yer deadlights darlin, I’m delightful!     (3)
I get the pants off wherever I drop anchor.     (4)
I’m a piece of eight me lovely!         (5)

Now count your points and check below fer yer answer.

And be sure to sign up to get a special V.I.P. Pass to The Sexy Pirate Party Friday Sept 13!


Here be Yer Answers

Pirate Names

1-7 Points: Ladyboy The Landlubber
8-14 Points: The Fancy Frog
15-21 Points: The Disgraceful Knave
22-28 Points: Barnacle Bob The Booty Hunter
29-35 Points: Captain Feculent

Wench Names

1-7 Points: Lassie of The Land
8-14 Points: Gunpowder Gertie
15-21 Points: Thar She Blows
22-28 Points: The Evil Whore 29-35 Points: Capn’ Maggie Thatcher

Sign up on the event facebook and tell us yer Pirate name HERE


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