Wallet Theft Spree Shocks Nagoya

Wallet Theft Spree Shocks Nagoya

A recent spate of wallet thefts in Nagoya this week has caused panic throughout the entire city.

On Thursday Daisuke Shimura was riding the Meijo line subway between Yabacho and Kanayama, but when he arrived at his station he found that his wallet had gone.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Shimura. “As I arrived at the ticket gate I reached to my back pocket for my wallet and was shocked to find that it was no longer there.”

The police were immediately called and both the Kanayama station and the entire Meijo line were put into immediate lock down.

“A 26 year old man reported the theft of his wallet today,” confirmed Sargent Ito of Naka-ku koban. “He described it as being a thirty centimetre long, ¥60,000 Louis Vuitton wallet and he had two month’s salary worth of cash inside, as is general practice in this country.”

While some gaijin observers have pointed towards the stupidity of carrying so much cash in an expensive wallet that hangs a good 15cm outside of the back pocket, the thousands of commuters trapped by the police lock down during the city’s busy rush hour were more sympathetic.

“This is Japan,” said Mai Nishida, an OL from Nishi-ku. “It is a safe country. It doesn’t happen.

Shinji Yoshikawa, a salary man from Nakamura-ku was in agreement. “This is Japan. It is a safe country. It doesn’t happen,” an opinion also held by Saya Mitsuda an OL from Meito-ku who said: “This is Japan. It is a safe country. It doesn’t happen.”

In another instance of wallet theft, Nana Kato, an OL from Nakamura-ku, had her purse stolen from a gaijin bar.

“It was a busy Saturday night, but I managed to find a free table. To save my seat while I went to the bathroom for a preposterously long time to check my makeup, I left my wallet on my chair. But when I returned someone had taken my table and my wallet was gone. I was so surprised. This is Japan. It is a safe country. It doesn’t happen.”

Sargent Ito has confirmed that they suspect that a foreigner was likely to be the culprit behind this thieving spree. “It must be a gaijin,” he explained. “It is unlikely that these crimes were committed by a Japanese because this is Japan. It is a safe country. It doesn’t happen.”

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