Valentine-O-Scope: Aquarius:

Aquarius: In Japan blowfish, sea urchin and gingko nuts are considered to be aphrodisiacs. But with a face like yours, even grinding those three up with rhino horn and Viagra and injecting it right into your heart won’t improve your likelihood of getting a date this Valentine’s Day. Turn to page 16 to see how unlikely you are to be lucky in love.

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