Toto Ltd, makers of toilets in Japan since 1939, have been accused of launching a campaign intended to sterilize all male foreigners by a gaijin community pressure organization.
Simon Poulter, spokesperson for ‘Castrate Hate, Not Gaijins’, told The Daily Nag that he has evidence of the Japanese company waging a war against non-Japanese men’s ability to reproduce.
“It’s absolutely disgusting that this huge company is able to so blatantly trade in a product that has the ability to destroy foreigner’s reproductive organs.”
The product that Poulter is most outspoken against is the world famous Washlet toilet seat, in particular its bidet function for women.
“I admit that the function that washes your bottom is quite good once you get used to it, but the bidet option is cruelly angled towards the testicle area, meaning that people who can not read Japanese may press that button and receive a sharp jet of water that could sterilize a man. And who can’t read Japanese? Gaijin, that’s who!”
Poulter believes that the conspiracy goes right to the top.
“We have evidence detailing how the company has a historical hatred towards foreigners, going right back to its founder, the dog Toto from The Wizard of Oz who harbored a hatred of Americans having fallen out of Dorothy’s favor once she found boys. This attempt at water based castration is just a progression of this.”
The company denied all of Poulter’s claims.
“It’s absolutely ridiculous,” said Gozo Amano, spokesperson for Toto. “The female function is clearly marked on all appliances – some with a pictorial representation. It is not for us to mark our products in various languages, it is for you to learn the language of the nation in which you live.
“And as for the idea that our company was founded by a dog with a grudge against Americans, well that’s just preposterous,” Amano added, before lying on his back to have his belly scratched and be called a good boy.