Thousands Of Foreigners Leave Japan As Women Stop Sleeping With Them

Richard getting on MFI plane 12 10 2010Japan’s gaijin community is set to shrink to pre-Meiji era levels as they leave in droves due to Japanese women no longer finding them attractive.

While male foreigners have long claimed that their continued residence in Japan is down to a love for Japanese culture and sushi, the recent decline in women wanting to bed them due to belatedly seeing them for the losers that they really are, has seen them flocking to airports.

“My friends and I have dated dozens of gaijin in the past, drawn to their blue eyes and the fact that it would really piss off our fathers,” said Nagoyan office worker Madoka Yamaguchi, 25. “Then one day we noticed that they were actually the sort of unattractive weirdoes that we would never ordinarily touch had they been Japanese. The spell was broken.”

Grant Gordon, 27 from Essex, was disconsolate.

“I’m disconsolate. I was bedding a different beautiful woman every week, but for some reason they have suddenly realised that I am actually a hideously ugly loser with personal hygiene issues. I may as well go back to the UK. I’m not going to get laid there either, what with me being physically repellent and all, but what am I gonna stay here for? The shrines? The weather? Natto? Fuck that for a game of soldiers.”

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24 responses to “Thousands Of Foreigners Leave Japan As Women Stop Sleeping With Them

  1. Whoever wrote this (probably another jealous, lonely frustrated gaijin female living here) has quoted only two sources and provided no sound facts or sources confirming the above. The days of the token gaijin may be long over, but obviously this groundless assumption is made by a biased chauvinist. LOL.

    1. I’m a foreign female living in Japan who happens to be married to one of the natives (and definitely not lonely). I laughed my ass off when I read this, and not out of “bitterness” as you say. Also, Mark Guthrie is tagged at the bottom; that might be who wrote it.

  2. This is a fine piece of satire, even funnier because it’s sort of true. (苦笑い) We reposted the first two paragraphs at @japansubculture to raise cultural awareness of this new trend.

    1. I don’t think the article wanted to be a satire. Or they can say that after realize everybody thinks it’s shit. Like Kitano after destroying an office: “That was a joke !”.

  3. I don’t care what the tag says, this article is definitely the work of “Western Woman”! Or is it a new phenomenon… a *man* who is bitter about the success that many gaijin men have with Japanese women? Perhaps a married man who can’t join the party? Yes, I think that is more likely.

  4. If American guys are having problems in Japan getting women. That’s some funny shit! It doesn’t get any easier anywhere else.
    TOO EASY!!!!

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