Nippon News (5/12)

Ken Aichi reviews the latest head-scratching headlines

Use factoids from this to make your friends think you are smart and superior!

The Avengers was released in the United States on May 4th to rave reviews and made more money in it’s opening weekend than any other film ever. This is relevant to Japan because it’s not getting a theatrical release here until the middle of gosh-darn-melon-farming August.

Hopefully the clever individual who decided this gets gokkuned by a triple team of The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man and Captain America. If not for treating people who pay ¥2000 to see films like f**king tards, then they deserve it for the inevitable “piracy is ruining us” storm of crying that will ensue once it becomes 2012’s most downloaded film. Idiots.

While we’re on the topic of idiots, Beat Takeshi, chief torturer of TV viewers Nippon-wide, got trouble for comparing gay marriage to bestiality when asked what he thought about US President Obama’s support of it.

Closer to home, Nanking expert Mayor Kawamura went off script (again!?) when he made comments against the restart of nuclear reactors in Oi, Fukui. Didn’t anyone tell him that Prime Minister Noda really, really, really wants to fire them back up?

The big fusion reactor in the sky (non-nerds: The Sun) was at the center of an amazing display on the 21st, an awesome annular eclipse. Luckily for those jaded folks who made some pessimistic assumptions about Nagoya’s weather and didn’t pony up the ¥1000 for eclipse googles (me), it was viewable with the naked eye thanks to slightly cloudy weather.

The next day, the Tokyo Sky Tree (according to gushing J-media: The tallest tower in the world, and the tallest structure in Japan. Mention Dubai and get your visa revoked!), opened to visitors, and a fair bit of head-scratching. More than half a million tourists had visited by the end of the month; whether they were impressed with the ¥3000 price tag or not is another matter.

“As the person who was in charge of the country at the time of the accident, I sincerely apologize for my failure to stop it.” – ex-PM Naoto Kan’s public apology for the magnitude of TEPCO’s ineptitude…

The month was bookended by crazy weather; a tornado spun through swathes of Tsukuba, Ibaraki on May 8th, while at the other end thunderstorms and hail signaled the arrival of everyone’s favorite time of year: rainy season!

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