National Election Means Nothing To Gaijin Community

The announcement that Japan will go to the polls in December brought a collective shrug from gaijin all across the nation, despite many of them living in the country for many years.

Prime Minister Abe Shinzo has called for a snap election early in December, with many political analysts blaming slow growth in the Japanese economy for Abe’s decision. As the economy falters, as does trust in the Prime Minister’s Abenomics financial policy, a cornerstone of his popularity.

Abe denies this and has stated that success in the lower house vote would give him a mandate to temporarily postpone the planned consumption tax rise to 10%, which he claims could further slow the economy.
“Huhyouwha?” said Sam Croft, a bicycle tour operator in Osaka. “There’s gonna be a tax rise? Obama should do something about it!”

A recent poll into how much gaijin know about Japanese politics revealed startling results. When asked about who is likely to stand in opposition to Abe a staggering 57% suggested Beat Takeshi with 19% thinking it Monkey D. Luffy. A further 26% of respondents replied that the position of Prime Minister is currently shared on a rotating basis by the members of Idol band Arashi.

97% of those answering the survey believed Japan not to be run as a parliamentary constitutional monarchy, but instead by settling political debates on games of janken, although this seems to have stemmed from gullible idiots believing farcical, satirical news reports in an irresponsible gaijin magazine.

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