Nagoya Undergoing Marie Kondo Style Un-clutter Treatment

By Mark Guthrie

The city of Nagoya is currently undergoing a de-clutter procedure by Marie Kondo, starting with the destruction of Central Park, much to the confusion of local residents.

Kondo, known as ‘Konmari’ in Japan and as ‘that woman on Netflix who talks to inanimate objects’ everywhere else, has been recruited by the Nagoya City Council to clear up the city and leave it with nothing but things that ‘spark joy’ in the hearts of Nagoyans.

“When it comes to cities, nothing creates more clutter than trees,” said the ‘organization expert’, who somehow manages to call herself that whilst keeping a straight face. “Leaves fall in the autumn dirtying the streets, birds sit in them to defecate, and branches can drop off. Who can honestly say that they have looked at a tree and felt pure joy?” continued the woman whose job it is to convince people to get rid of family photo albums and old love letters.

However, the move has puzzled locals, who can see no good reason for willfully destroying the only nice part of Sakae.

“I love walking through Central Park on my lunchtime,” said graphic designer Mai Nishida.

“It’s the best spot to get away from the hectic city atmosphere, see some greenery and commune with nature.

“I was shocked when I saw that the Park had been ravaged. I heard rumors that a ‘monster mother’ had complained when a branch fell and hit her child. A friend of mine suggested that the council were using the wood to save money on the reconstruction of the castle,” added Nishida.

“I had even heard that it was because the council had erroneously decided that the park had too many trees*. But now I’ve heard about Marie Kondo’s involvement, which at least makes a little bit more sense. Because surely no one ever thought to themselves ‘do you know what this city centre park needs? Less trees’.”

[*Yes, if you hadn’t already figured it out, that is exactly the hair-brained reasoning behind hacking down half of the park. Baffling, eh? – Daily Nag Ed.]

5 responses to “Nagoya Undergoing Marie Kondo Style Un-clutter Treatment

  1. Cutting down these huge trees is the most stupid action . I love big trees. They give us good oxygenesnd shadow in summer . It takes so many years to grow these trees and one stupid women’s decision to cut them down in a few minutes .
    We need more trees in Nagoya !
    I do not agree at all this this de lettering this way I think our trees and clean air they make are more important .
    I am the owner of a forest in Nagano and cherish my big trees.

  2. One of the long-standing problems with Nagoya is the lack of open green spaces. It’s been a white jungle of ferroconcrete high-rises since the 1960s. Unlike Tokyo, there’s no equivalent of the Imperial Palace, Arisugawa Park, or the Shinjuku Gyoen. All the big green parks are in the outskirts, like Higashiyama and Shidami, nothing really in the downtown area.

    Central Park (a.k.a. Hisaya Odori Park) at least provided the fantasy of a green oasis in the middle of the city, complete with fake creeks and tree canopies. So this is one of the stupidest things I’ve seen done by the municipal government.

  3. Absolutely ridiculous! Nature inside urban areas is so important for everyone’s wellbeing. Deciduous trees allow shade in summer and light in winter. Has she been to Osu Kannon? Perfect example of lots of birds and the mess they leave – no trees in sight! Birds will make a home where they can!

  4. If Marie Kondo really said those stupid things against trees she should be very ashamed of herself. In a world of environmental damage the last thing we need is more trees cut down.

    There appears to be a ‘growing’ dislike of trees in Japan. They are seen as ‘dirty bird and insect harbouring slippy ground creating’ nuisances. Here in Kumamoto there has been many cases of cutting down trees, apparently for the sake of it – or possibly just to create work for tree cutters? Its a very bad habit that need to not only change, but reverse.

    Here is my article about it from the Japan Times where i suggest a ‘25% tree replacement rule’ should be made law:

  5. I can’t tell if the Marie Kondo angle in this story is satire or not, but it was a crime to cut down these trees. When I lived in Nagoya, I used to sit on the benches at the far north end of the park and listen to the breeze rustling the leaves of the very tall and beautiful trees. It was enchanting and relaxing, and reminded me of the lovely city parks they have in Europe. Please tell me they didn’t cut those down too! It’s incomprehensible that the city would do this. What’s next, cutting down the cherry trees?

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