Well, it’s that time again, and most of us are heading back home for the Christmas break. Of course, we could all do with a longer vacation than our bosses are willing to give us; now is the time to start preparing an excuse to feed your irate slave driver when you return a few days later than you said you would.
Usually, bosses hardly notice absences anyway, as all their attention is directed towards getting over that sake-induced hangover they spent the whole break aquiring, and it’s doubtful that your students will even notice that you’re missing as you lurch into class and collapse under the desk for the next hour or two.
Nevertheless, we have come up with what we’ve found to be excuses that will best provoke sympathy and understanding for your tardiness:
The Top Ten Excuses For Returning Late From Your Christmas Vacation
- I slept through my stop.
- The dog ate my ticket!
- I locked my keys in the plane.
- Mom grounded me.
- My shitty salary (yes, the one you pay me) wasn’t enough for a round trip ticket.
- My plane got rammed by a Chinese fishing boat.
- I got the “Christopher Johnson” treatment at Narita.
- My plane was stopped for speeding.
- My tongue got frozen to the plane window.
- Who gives a shit?