Mutant Tebasaki Sends Shockwaves Through Nagoya Food Industry

Nagoya’s restaurant industry was left reeling today after popular tebasaki restaurant Yamachan unveiled its successful crossbreeding of a chicken with an octopus. Scientists, who have dubbed the animal Chictopus Spicius Freakus, have managed to splice the genes of the animals and thus multiplied the number of the chicken’s wings by the octopus’ legs, giving Yamachan an immediate advantage in the competitive tebasaki market.

Traditionally restaurants have been restricted to the number of wings they can sell by the prohibitive landfill costs of discarding the inedible parts of the chicken such as the breast and thigh.

However with a yield of sixteen wings per animal, that cost is dramatically reduced. Yamachan is also expecting a bumper year based on sales of its adorable mascot / affront to god, Takotorichan.
This is the second such shock that Nagoya’s food industry has faced in as many months, after June’s discovery of a large miso deposit under Komaki Airport. With miso reserves considered to be running low, prices had skyrocketed in recent years, fetching upwards of ¥70,000 a barrel. However, the discovery, leading to mass drilling in the area, has sent prices tumbling.

Stock market analysts are concerned for the local economy. “I’m concerned for the local economy,” said analyst Manny Grabbheur of Watanabe, Goldstein and Thirdname stockbrokers. “The NAGDAQ index cannot take another major hit like this. If, for example, there is a ban for health reasons on deep frying prawns or, god forbid, people realize that eel is actually quite disgusting, we are all fucked.”

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