Japan already sick of the Olympics

Two thirds of the Japanese population are already sick of the impending Tokyo Olympics, a study shows.

Another totally unnecessary study undertaken by research professionals who should be looking into things of much greater importance has found that the vast majority of the population are already concerned that the country is going to look somewhat ridiculous when the 2020 Olympics proves to be an unmitigated disaster.

“Until just a few months ago people were really quite excited about the games,” explains Professor Taishi Fujita, Head of Pointless Studies at University of Nagoya. “They were looking forward to the high number of tourists coming to the country and in particular the hoped-for and much needed injection into the economy that it would bring. However, in the last couple of months, it is dawning on people that it could in actual fact be an omnishambles of Brexit proportions.

First concerns were raised when the plans for the stadium were scrapped due to cost issues, but following the public relations disaster of the Rio de Janeiro Olympics earlier this year, these concerns are growing.

“I had been really looking forward to the Olympics,” said Gozo Amano, who took part in the survey. “But when I saw our once proud Prime Minister stood sheepishly on stage dressed as Super Mario in Rio, I thought ‘this is going to be a load of bollocks, isn’t it?’”

If PM Abe’s humiliation wasn’t enough to raise apprehension over the nation’s ability to hold the world’s largest sporting event, recent events have left the country’s citizens in no doubt.

“With the Yuriko Koike being elected as Mayor of Tokyo on the back of an austerity mandate, alarm bells have started to ring amongst the populace,” Professor Fujita explained. “And with her wrangling, very publicly, with IOC President Thomas Bach over finances, this has raised concerns significantly.”

“When Bach said that we may have to base some of the events in South Korea to save costs, I was appalled,” said Mai Nishida, another participant in the survey. “Korea has long been an enemy of Japan, and this would be far too much a humiliation to bear.”

However, Daisuke Shimura, another Tokyoite who took part in the report was much more sanguine over the idea that Japan may share the event with its neighbour: “I don’t see why they don’t just stage the whole of the games in Korea. I mean, they could same a ton of money on Olympic flames by, instead of using torches, just using the self-combusting Samsung Note 7s. Surely there has never been a more fitting representation of the commercialisation of global sport than that.”

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