What is your current state of mind?
Besides a few personal victories, 2016 was a horrible year; the worst in recent memory. However, I’ll be damned if I let that ruin this one. So, I am fighting to maintain hope for the future. God help me if 2016 claims another of my heroes. Stay safe, Bruce Springsteen.
How would you like to die?
Mauled to death by a J-pop band angered by a particularly scathing review I wrote about their awful music.
Which talent would you most like to have?
You’ve probably heard the old adage: those who can’t, teach. Well, there’s a lesser known one that goes: those who suck, critique. I would like to be able to sing without sterilizing all who hear it.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Some people might say it’s my baldness; they are assholes. I would like to be rid of my procrastination.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
The Ostranders are a wide people. With my aforementioned clean dome, I look like a bop bag
What is your most marked characteristic?
I once had the piercing blue eyes of a Siberian husky. With age they have dulled to a glaucoma-tinged azure.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I am actually quite frugal. I don’t drop serious yen on threads or luxury items. However, if I don’t curb my vinyl addiction and soon, I will one day be found dead under an avalanche of pretentious indie rock and obscure 70’s folk.
If you could change one thing about Nagoya, what would it be?
I would like it very much if the city that I love would cease being a fly-over for most touring bands. I’m tired of Tokyo getting my hard-earned yen every time Wilco comes to town.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My father was a great man; hard-working, dedicated to family and friends, strong resolve and even stronger faith. He is the only inspirational figure I must strive to be like.
What is your favorite journey?
Before my trip to Japan, I wasn’t one for travelling beyond my home state. My wife changed all of that. Together we have travelled far, and every journey with her is a favorite.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
On that dark month where the entire catalogue of music listings is all death metal, EDM and AKB-clones, you will find me at the bottom of a tub filled with Jack Daniels.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I sometimes catch myself laughing at my own jokes.
Which living person do you most despise?
What is your greatest regret?
When I first moved to Japan I studied Japanese every day. I hit a plateau 6 months later and got comfortable.
What do you most value in your friends?
Patience. I will forget and / or mispronounce your name at least 3 times. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m an asshole.
What historical figure do you most identify with?
Tony Wilson; a pretentious answer to a pretentious question.
Who is the greatest love of your life?
My wife, who for some reason loves this dull-eyed, bop bag.