Hop On The Sexy – August 28, 2012

So, instead of going home to see the fams you decided to stay in Japan for the summer? Excellent choice! Not that I have anything against your family. I’m sure they’re real nice people, with impeccable personal hygiene and absolutely riveting conversational talents. But if there was a Nagoya summer not to be missed, without a bum hair of a doubt, it’s this one.

The calendar is jam-packed with fun, fun, fun, in the sun, everyone! On the run, with a nun – just don’t get into the habit. But no, this here ain’t Dr. Seuss baby. That cat just don’t got the skillz, or the street cred for this gig. This is most definitely not child’s play.

We’re talking about The Sexy, here to rock your world, and kick you half way into next week. You’re gonna need a rather large spoonful of vigor to keep up with this furious, party pace.

Are you packing the goods? Some of you out there, most definitely, are. And if you’ve made it this far into batwing season without developing a game-crushing sweat rash bigger than your grandmother’s vegetable garden, you might as well shut your eyes and motor on hard into the bowels of the beast. Cos you know sooner or later you’re gonna break on through to the other side like a victorious phoenix, and unceremoniously tear it a new asshole.

Well, I guess the other possibility is that you’ll pass out blotto outside some conbini and take a ride in a big, white van. You’ll then be carried into a big building, where they’ll torture you with the “fill out your details ten different times, as you writhe in agony” treatment, before the chain of command deems it time to pump your dumb-ass stomach of over-enthusiastic foolishness. In which case, it would probably have been smarter to just throw up in the taxi and get it over with, the way nature intended.

Oh yes, I almost forgot, there is a third, and significantly more respectable option of not getting totally hammered for once in your life, but instead stimulating your senses in wholesome company, non-smoking, aroma-charged surrounds, in a tasteful, elegant and self-preserving fashion. Which reminds me…

August 25th sees the return of Nagoya’s favorite little taste of G-rated naughty, The Sexy Parties, with the latest installment, “Hop On The Sexy”. Once again hosted by Gen’s 2nd, located conveniently across from the Mitsukoshi Department Store in the heart of Nagoya’s buzzing entertainment district, this summer’s penultimate The Sexy event brings a host of treats that will have your ears zinging, nostrils twitching and eyes bulging for more.

For the first time ever, The Sexy brings you an exclusively hip hop theme, with some of the most straight-up, grass-roots musical talents this side of Kazakhstan. Forget east coast and west coast. Open your mind and think bigger, think global, ’cos we’re rolling out the big guns for this one. We got hard-core players com in’ at ya with heart-stopping beats from Japan, Canada, the heart of Africa, and the US of mutha fuckin’ A, bitches! DJ 530, DJ Scrying, Vinny Vintage and DJ Ghost Willy will be dropping sounds like you’ve never heard before, but always wanted to.

The Sexy Cage Dancers Aki and Yui are on board once again in all their innovative and glamorous style, but safely locked inside a cage were they can’t damage the furniture or help you spill your drink with all those shameless hip gyrations. Nagoya’s Sexiest Pole Dancers, Kumi and Yuki will be giving a special hip hop rendition of their acrobatic craft. This is an especially exciting opportunity to see the Nagoya’s crown pole dance performer, Kumi, get back to her hip hop dance roots, and see what happens when that bassy, funky style meets the way of the pole.

And as if that all wasn’t enough, there will be a very special guest appearance from Nagoya’s most famous and respected hip hop dance duo, Someka+Shizuka! Those in the know will be peeing their pants at the chance to see these girls throw down right before their eyes. And on that note, be sure to hit the toilets before 9:30, when the dance performances begin, and everything your Sunday school teacher taught you starts to fade into inconsequential insignificance. All this, plus the olfactory-pleasing products of Sakae’s Love House Aromatherapy Store, who’ll be filling the air with their patented hip hop mix of love-waft.

Also at the event a rare selection of Japanzine t-shirts will be on sale, including such sought-after designs as Ask Kazuhide, Authorized Chopstick Operator, Watashi Wa The Sexy, and more…!

In addition there will be a booth hosted by Asami Koike from Grii-bru hair and nail studio. She’ll be offering a limited selection of specially crafted event nail designs, at the bargain basement price of ¥1,000 per set. These designs only take 2 or 3 minutes to apply, and undoubtedly set you head and shoulders above the run-of-the-mill manicure crowd. Get in early and find yourself the proud wearer of such cutting-edge items as goose-down frilled nails.

Also, students of the world’s most hip hop language (yeah bro, I mean English), will also have the opportunity to be in the running to win a three-month English conversation course at Natural English School. Be sure to write your name and contact information on your ticket at the door to enter!

Hop On The Sexy 

August 25th
7pm to 11pm

¥2,500
Includes 1 free drink and entry to Gen’s 2nd all night! 

More info at: www.thesexy.jp or on the Facebook Event

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