Hikonyan Charged With Doping

The mascot for the city of Hikone, Hikonyan, has been found guilty of using a banned substance by the National Yuru-Chara Committee (NYC). As a result, he has subsequently been suspended from competing in the Yuru-Chara Grand Prix for three years.

The announcement caps off a difficult month for Hikonyan, a cat with a horned samurai helmet, after it was revealed that he was costing the local government ¥30 million a year. It is believed that this extravagance attracted the attention of NYC operatives, who discovered that much of this outlay was spent on nyanabolic steroids.

There was outrage from other mascots who have competed against Hikonyan in the Yuru-Chara Grand Prix, an annual event where the most popular mascot is determined by public votes.

“I’m shocked that Hikonyan would stoop to such levels. He is a great mascot and was a fantastic champion in 2010, but his actions have made us all look ridiculous.” said Jarbo, the mascot for Fukuoka Prefecture who looks like Chopper from One Piece in blackface.

“It is really disappointing to see that Hikonyan has degraded our event in this way,” said Osaka Prefecture’s mascot, Inuakin, a caped dog with disturbingly sexy abs. “The Grand Prix is a serious competition and his actions have made us a laughing stock.”

However, some quarters have shown little surprise at the NYC’s findings.

“I have had my suspicions about Hikonyan for some time,” said Obu-chan, the mascot for Aichi Prefecture, who can be best described as a Pikachu image rights lawsuit waiting to happen. “His kawaii levels have been off the charts lately, and his genkiness results are breaking all records. At his age, there can be no surprise that he is doping.”

The Daily Nag approached Hikonyan for comment, however the mascot responded by threatening to “snap your fucking head off, vomit down your throat and bang your fucking missus while you watch.”

A spokesperson for Hikonyan denied that this outburst was related to ‘roid rage, and that he was simply ‘tired and emotional’ after spending fifteen hours in the gym.

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