Gaijin’s New Japanese Friend Ruined GoT

This week Simon Poulter had his enjoyment of a Game of Thrones episode ruined by his new Japanese friend, Daisuke Shimura.

Poulter, who is a self-confessed GoT obsessive and spends most of his spare time writing fan fiction, creating GoT memes and berating people on social media for revealing plot spoilers of ten-year-old movies, met Shimura in OXO British pub, and they immediately hit it off.

“At first I thought he was one of those boring guys who just want to practice their English in the pub. However, when I told him that I loved Game of Thrones, which is how I begin every conversation, he said that he was a big fan. I was a little dubious at first, but as I went into a twenty-five-minute monologue on my theories as to what will happen in the coming series, and how I would have written it better, he seemed really interested.”

As a result, Poulter invited Shimura round to his place to watch the next episode, which the Japanese eagerly accepted. Poulter had been looking forward to the event, and even printed out some of his fan fiction for his new friend to read, but when the time came, things took a turn for the worst.

“All through the episode he kept asking stupid questions, like ‘who’s that?’, ‘why are there dragons?’ and ‘isn’t that his sister, why is he shagging her?’ It was then that I realised that he didn’t really like the show, and that he was just a gaijin-hunter.

“And even worse, I had to wait until he went home so I could watch it again, and by that time all the fan sites boards were so full of comments from people giving their half-baked theories that my unique ideas were lost in the morass.”

“It turns out that I made a mistake,” said Shimura. “My English isn’t so great. I thought he said ‘game of throws’, meaning baseball. He then started talking really quickly, and I didn’t understand what he said, but he kept saying ‘dragons’, so I presumed he was a fan of the Nagoya team.

“So, I was looking forward to a night of sport and beer, but instead we ended up watching some fantasy shit. Not my idea of a good night. I mean, what’s with all the incest? Bloody hell, to think that gaijin see Takeshi’s Castle as being weird…”

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