French-orientated sports dropped from Tokyo Olympics

After it was announced that sports in which Japan traditionally wins medals will be dropped from the Paris 2024 Olympic Games, the Japan Olympic Committee (JOC) has announced retaliatory measures for the Tokyo 2020 line-up.

“While they are expected to be Games highlights in 2020, karate, baseball and softball will not be held in Paris the next time around,” said Kenta Tanaka, head of the JOC. “We have taken this as a slight against our great country, and as such we have decided to remove sports in which France usually dominate.”

The most prominent event that will be cancelled for 2020 is the 10,000m Surrender, an event in which France has won the gold medal at every Olympics since 1942. Also omitted is the ‘A’-athalon, a triathlon of aloofness, argumentativeness and adultery. The remaining events seeing censure are all on the cycle track, with competitors facing disqualification in the Pursuit, Time Trials and Sprints should they wear strings of onions and berets, and carry baguettes in their baskets.

A number of other events that were considered for omission will still be held in 2020

“We looked at which games would hit the French hardest, and the Chain-smoking Relay was an obvious choice, but we realized that Japan, too, was one of the favorites for a medal,” continued Tanaka.

“We also debated cancelling the Freestyle Irrational National Pride, a mental gymnastics event in which competitors loudly and consistently pronounce their country to be the best in the world despite huge evidence to the contrary.

“But, the UK, the US and Australia threatened to boycott the games had we done so.”

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