Enkai Season Ensures Pubs Are Full Of Twats For One Month More

Nagoya’s pubs are expected to be full of idiots who can’t handle their drink for one further month as the end of year ‘bonnenkai’ season shifts into the ‘shinnenkai’ new year celebrations, ruining evenings out for the borderline-alcoholic gaijin community.

Inexperienced boozers can of course be found in and passed out in front of drinking establishments throughout the year, but this is exacerbated in this holiday season when office parties are in full swing. At this time of year salary men and Office Ladies who are usually able to eschew the regular drinking parties are obliged to join their more hardened colleagues. Not wanting to lose face, they frequently find themselves downing vast quantities of booze, making complete and utter bellends of themselves.

While this is seen as a boom season for publicans and restaurateurs, the gaijin community are up in arms at the development.

“I like to spend all my evenings sat drinking alone at a table staring into my phone,” said Sakae resident Peter Hunterson. “But now the bar is clogged up with people who don’t know how to order a drink, and my usual table is full people enjoying each other’s company. It’s like they don’t even know what pubs are for.”

Jason Timms, 33 from England was in agreement: “I come to the pub everyday after work to get drunk enough to forget the mundanity of my life, but today I was told that my local boozer was rented out for the evening by the accounts department of a large trading company. What am I supposed to do? Go home and talk to my wife? Balls to that!”

One member of the expat community trying to make the best of it was Nick Vines: “Originally I thought it would be great, that there would be loads of pissed up women in celebratory mood, but they aren’t like the usual girls I hook up with. They don’t find my broken Japanese endearing, and they couldn’t give a toss that I have blue eyes. Who the hell are these people? The sooner they go back to working late into the night and stop hanging around my local, the better.”

The Daily Nag tried to contact a representative of the Japanese working community, but they were all passed out in pub bathrooms or on subway station benches and thus unavailable of comment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *