Convenience Stores to Ban Pornography!

The news that 7-Eleven is to discontinue the sale of pornographic material in the build-up to Japan hosting the Rugby World Cup this year and the Olympics in 2020 has been met with confusion from the international community.

The ubiquitous convenience store has made the move in order to not tarnish the nation’s reputation in the eyes of the millions of foreign tourists expected to visit Japan during the sporting events. However, many observers have questioned the move, seeing the removal of the skin mags from shelves as a minor concern when compared to other more-pressing issues.

“It seems an unusual priority, considering that many tourists will be coming from nations where bongo-mags are widely available,” said Peter Hunterson, head of the New Zealand Rugby Football Association. “We are more concerned by the fact that many of our fans and players will be banned from indulging in the Japanese custom of onsen due to the historical culture of tattooing. Is that being looked into?”

Malorie Conway, a spokesperson for the American Olympic Association agrees with Hunterson: “Of course, the banning of jazz-mags is a great step, but how about ensuring that there will be English language menus and signage around the primary tourist spots? Has anybody thought of that?”

“Oh, and how about stopping the aggressive parades of Uyoku Dantai fascists around Korean communities, while you’re at it?” added Park Ji-yeung, President of the Korean Sport and Olympic committee.

“Hang on,” added Paddy O’Dwyer, captain of the Irish rugby team. “Porn mags? Do they not have the Internet in Japan?”

Confirmation over whether convenience stores will continue to sell manga magazines, in which it is standard to represent all young women, whether they are adults or school children, with miniscule skirts and whopping great big tits, is yet to be announced.

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